Its taken me weeks to find the clues to the undo …. But here i am on me own we blog im now hoping around like a nutty old frog.. Not knowing the ways i should use this , so ill sit back for now an just watch and read…. Time will learn me at my own dopey speed! If you can offer any words of advice, please respond to this with few words of spice!!! 😉
Iv been lost caught again in a rut! those around me trying desperately to pull me up!
stuck in the bubble away from time its self, the hairs on my chin grow quicker in the blink of an eye the sun goes up and then goes down! leaving me again for another day with a blank frown!
im not in pain you see and im not upset i just cant climb out of this mood, its like being in a spider trapped under a glass, you can see others outside moving around but to you its just a blur and sounds are muffled!
Trying pointlessly to climb up the inside of the glass, making it a few steps then sliding back down to the bottom again.. nothing and no one can help you as you in there on your own…
Well today i climbed the glass and made it out its taken me nearly two weeks but im back, slowly but surely iv enter d back from the desolate land of depression some times i believe its like waking from a coma!
poor myself a coffee and suck in deep the aroma!
Wife has missed me and is so glad im with her again, my kids its obvious have missed me as they start jumping all over my back. lost in limbo is all i can say,
Glad to be back and enjoy these sunny days…
I spent many years feeling like i had to explain what i was and the way i behaved, always when first meeting someone i would say Hi hows you? Iv got Bi-polar…. thinking that by my telling them that i come with a few kinks and ticks that they will instantly understand and show compassion…
WRONG…People use your weakness against you, i almost felt like i was super human for many years, until i got diagnosed, and the shrink said to me that your not super human—-your just ill…Ahh i thought… all those years dressed as a caped crusader wasted!! although i spent the early part of my life in the criminal world its not what i truly wanted to do!
But was a place i survived and learnt the ways of the world!
But iv always had a place in my heart to help others and go out of my way to make sure people are ok, its in my nature,
My problem was with my anger, If i saw some thing that i believed was wrong or someone was being hurt, id get involved and every time i did my reaction was worse than what id witnessed happen in the first place- x 10 normally!!!
Leaving me looking like the bad guy ! when always i had good intentions at heart…
Being bi-polar and being a parent makes each day a challenge that i rise up to and yes i struggle most of the time, and for every up there is a down..
Im just lucky to have people around me that care, and know me and take me for who i am, I love watching peoples eyes when they talk to you, instantly scanning my face to see what state im in!!! i dressed up as a clown for an event at our local school, it was arranged that i would dress up as we were having a circus skills workshop- so a clown outfit was very fitting!! when i entered the lobby of the school i was approached by the head mistress saying… ( Have you been taking your meds!!!)…. people generally think that were unsafe to be around and a danger to the public!!! When in fact most people iv met that are Bi-polar are more likely to hurt themselves before anyone else.. Thanks for reading D